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Parents of the world rejoice! Knock Knock's bestselling How to Traumatize Your Children has been revamped with all-new totally dysfunctional illustrations. This groundbreaking instructional volume teaches you how to give your children the lifelong gifts of mental and emotional damage. Whether you employ the same ruinous techniques your parents used or try out an entirely new approach, you are bound to succeed!
- Learn the latest buzzwords and trends in traumatic parenting!
- Choose a personal trauma style controlling, indulgent, and more!
- Paperback; 4.5 x 6.5 inches; 144 pages; written by Knock Knock
- Sales Rank: #11096 in Books
- Brand: Knock Knock
- Model: 50004
- Published on: 2011-09-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 6.50" h x 4.50" w x .50" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 144 pages
- Whether you want to send your children to therapy with the same techniques your parents used or try an entirely new approach, this instructional volume will show you the way
- Paperback lets you learn the latest buzzwords and trends in traumatic parenting
- Choose a personal trauma style - controlling, indulgent, and more
- Measures 4.5 x 6.5 inches
- 144 Pages with full color throughout and 10 illustrations
About the Author
Knock Knock is an independent maker of clever gifts and books. Our crackerjack in-house team creates humorous nonfiction and specialty journals from the ground up. We also publish new titles from outside authors, bloggers, and other creative types.
Most helpful customer reviews
154 of 164 people found the following review helpful.
Your kids will thank you!
By Delite Rancher
Question: why would somebody read a parenting guide that advocates traumatizing children? Answer: because it's really funny! This book describes seven parenting styles that promise to psychologically damage any young person enough to require decades of adult therapy. The schools of parenting include the controller, the pusher, the narcissist, the indulger, the best friend, the self-esteem killer and neglector. The average reader comes to this book with a vague familiarity of these parenting styles. "How to Traumatize Your Children" gives each of these styles a colorful name and explores the roots and childhood consequences. The hope is to discover and develop a natural parenting style. As the authors write, "When it comes to trauma, there's no wrong way- there's only poor execution" (p. 17). After the introduction, each chapter features a parenting style with consistent organizational elements. One such element is the developmental stages section; it offers examples of how a given style works when a young person is in utero, an infant, baby, toddler, child, adolescent, teen, young adult and adult. For the neglectful parent, the in utero stage is described as follows, "Don't bother changing your diet or smoking, drinking, and drug habits just because you're pregnant. For fathers, pregnancy is an ideal time to leave without a forwarding address" (p. 135). The authors even explain the compatibility of various dysfunctional parenting styles. "How to Traumatize Your Children" is peppered with 'tidings of trauma' sections which feature germane quotes by various thinkers and celebrities. One of the highlights is by Clarence Darrow who wrote, "The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children." Another memorable tiding is, "There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family'" -Jerry Seinfeld. The humorous graphics help to make the book a fast read. All kidding aside, the book actually teaches about parenting with humor and sarcasm. Readers will be surprised to recognize elements from their own childhood and reflect on the styles of the parents of childhood friends. For parent readers, there's much room for humorous self-examination. Unless one has academically studied family dysfunction, the potential reader is vaguely familiar with these styles but doesn't yet have the names or flushed out details. Indeed, the book has genuine value as a parenting tool in that it shows what not to do and why. The mixture of humor and sarcasm is likely to resonate with many personality types. If nothing else, "How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill" makes for an entertaining parody of the "for dummies" and "for idiots" guides.
121 of 135 people found the following review helpful.
If you are a parent, read with caution
By Dienne
A pastor was preaching to his flock about sin and the Devil's way. "Illegal drugs will steal your mind and your soul!" he proclaimed. A woman in the back yelled, "Preach it, brother!" "Drink will lead you to perdition!" the pastor thundered. "That's right, pastor!" came the response from the back. "You must not covet your neighbor's wife or go fooling around outside marriage!" he continued. "Keep going, brother," she replied. "Gambling is the Devil's pastime!" he roared. "Now wait a minute, brother," shouted the woman, jumping to her feet, "you just stopped preaching and started meddling!"
This book is spot-on hilarious when it is preaching. Yeah, we all know people who do *that*, don't we? Glad *I'm* not one of them. I'm not that kind of a parent, we smugly think.
But then, this book has an annoying tendency to fall into meddling. And then it gets a little uncomfortable and we might shift a bit in our seats. "Well, yeah, but...," we mumbled awkwardly.
This book is pretty clearly intended to be a humorous, tongue-in-cheek poke at the perils of modern parenting. Since it's virtually impossible to be the "perfect" parent and avoid "traumatizing" your child, you may as well do so consciously and with skill. The book offers some general guidelines common to all traumatizing parenting methods and then proceeds to list "7 proven methods" to traumatize your child in specific ways to be selected or mixed and matched to go with your personal style. You can chose to be a Controller, a Pusher, a Narcissist, an Indulger, a Best Friend, a Self-Esteem Killer or a Neglector. For better results, you can combine two or more approaches. And for best results, have your parenting partner pick one or more approaches which are completely conflicting with your own. You will know you have succeeded when your child enters therapy and/or writes a tell-all book about you.
The problem is that it's rather easy to start taking this book a bit too seriously, especially if you are a parent. Perhaps you honestly believe that children need strict control and tight rules in order to feel loved and safe. Or perhaps your child's education and other achievements are very important to you. Or perhaps you believe that children should have a voice in the household and have reasonable control over their lives to the extent possible. It can be rather wounding and infuriating to see yourself reflected as a "Controller", a "Pusher" or an "Indulger" when you are following what you believe to be the best path.
On the other hand, I suspect all of us parent by the seat of our pants to a greater or lesser extent and we make mistakes. We're human. Sometimes we focus on our own needs or even wants and we neglect our kids a bit. Sometimes we get frazzled and we lash out with ill-considered criticism and self-esteem killing harsh remarks. It's tough to think that we may be "traumatizing our kids when we're just doing the best we can to get by.
Non-parents will love this book. Before I had kids, I to knew everything about parenting and I was quick to judge all those rotten parents out there - the "abusers" and the "spoilers". Now that I am a rotten parent, this book hits a little too close to home.
In any case, if you are a parent and are looking for a take-away message, I think it's to strive for a healthy balance. Kids don't need their every whim indulged, up to and including a $97,000 mini Ferrari. On the other hand, it's tough to be little and subject to the constant dictates of adults. Allowing your child to control areas of his life that he's capable of is probably a good thing. Likewise, a reasonable amount of (and the right kind of) self-esteem is certainly healthy for kids to feel competent and loved, but self-esteem is not some fragile thing that needs to be built up at every turn (especially not falsely, as that actually undermines self-esteem). Use common sense, do the best you can, and just laugh at yourself (and others) to the extent you see yourself in this book.
28 of 28 people found the following review helpful.
Looks like it's working; will report back in 18 years.
By R
Looks like it's working; will report back in 18 years.
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